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 Losing
the Dad that Everybody Loved
By Kimberly
In Columbus, Ohio in the 1970s, Paul was larger than
life. Everybody knew him. Everybody loved him. Especially his
youngest child, fourteen year old Susan.
When Paul died suddenly in 1976 at age 62, everybody wanted to
share their grief with his widow, Polly, and her five
children. Susan only wanted a quiet place to grieve. Jewish
Family Services became that place.
A
barrel-chested, broad shouldered man with jet-black hair and
deep blue eyes, Paul was a gentle soul with a hearty
laugh who remembered everybody's name. His warmth and charisma
drew people to the hearty produce vendor in downtown Columbus. The operation began many years ago
when Paul's great grandfather pushed a peddler's cart offering
fresh produce. The business expanded over the years and moved
into a permanent facility in the downtown business corridor. By
the 1970s, it was a successful operation with a sales force
selling a variety of produce to restaurants, groceries and other
businesses all over Columbus. But Paul never turned
his back on those in need.
Susan, an attractive
woman of medium height with brown hair and green-blue eyes,
recalls that "My dad always gave food to whoever was hungry. If
someone in need came asking for food, my father
never turned them away. If someone in the community let my
father know about a family that was down on their luck, my
father would make sure that they received fresh produce."
Because Paul and Polly were both gregarious and fun,
they were known throughout Columbus. They had friends through
their business, through their childhood connections growing up in
Columbus and Circleville, through their involvement in their
synagogue, through their country club and through many other
venues. Their large five-bedroom home in Central Bexley on
South Roosevelt Avenue was always open to their friends and the
friends of their children. Susan was the only child still
living at home by the mid-1970s. Paul encouraged Susan to have
friends over, and he and Polly never complained if the kids
devoured all of the snacks in the cupboard and played Elton John
records at top volume.
Although Paul worked long,
hard hours, he and Susan shared time each
evening when they walked their dog, Kelly, to Morganstern's Drug
Store.
"On the way home from the store, we would
always eat two or three Hershey bars, at least," Susan wistfully
recalls.
Susan's world shattered in February of
1976 when her father died of a heart attack.
Without the large and joyful presence of her dad,
Susan's world seemed emptier, quieter and very sad. The
five-bedroom home in South Roosevelt felt cavernous to both
Polly and Susan. And to Susan, it seemed like every one of her
friends was busy doing things with his or her own dad.
Susan and her mother tried to escape the large,
silent home by visiting restaurants, shops, the synagogue and
their country club. Everywhere they went, they were bombarded
with memories of Paul. Wherever Susan turned, someone wanted to
let her how much they missed her father. The hosts, the
servers, the diners, the Rabbi, the congregants, the golfers,
the clerks the busboys, the waiters and the club members all
crowded in to tell Susan how much they loved and missed Paul.
What might have been a comfort to some was overwhelming for a
child who was yearning for her father and still coping with
fresh grief.
Polly realized that Susan needed a
private space where she could express her emotions to someone
who had never met Paul. She took Susan to Jewish Family
Services. The JFS staff connected Susan with a social worker
named Judy. Judy had never met Susan's father. Judy became a
confidant who created the place and space that Susan needed.
"Judy became a friend to me. I felt safe there,"
Susan recalls.
Susan met with Judy for about six
months, and she entered high school in the fall feeling much
stronger. Susan decided to "give back" to the Columbus Jewish
community when she graduated from college by becoming involved
with the Columbus Jewish Federation.
"The
Federation had just started the Young Jewish Professionals
Division when I finished college, and I was asked to get
involved. I said 'yes' right away because of JFS. I had been
helped by a Jewish organization in Columbus. I wanted to become
involved with one," Susan recalls.
In 2007, Susan
is in her 40s. She still misses Paul. But she credits JFS with
helping her to cope with the pain of being a child who lost a
dad that everybody loved.
Kimberly is a
member of the Board of Trustees of Jewish Family Services and is
the Special Projects Coordinator of School-Age Notes, a
publisher of after-school resources based in New Albany, Ohio.
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